Why I finally decided to get bariatric surgery (and why it took so long)

I’m a 50-something database administrator from Missouri. I spend my days managing systems that handle millions of records, optimizing queries, fixing things that break at 2am. I’m reasonably good at solving problems. And yet for most of my adult life, I could not solve the problem of my own body.

I’m starting this blog at about 400 pounds, a few months out from a procedure called SADI-S — a type of bariatric surgery most people have never heard of. I want to document everything: the good, the uncomfortable, the stuff the brochures skip over. If you’re somewhere on this same road, maybe this helps.

But first, let me tell you why I’m here.

The part where I’m honest about dieting

I’ve lost weight before. More than once, actually — which sounds like a success story until you realize what comes after “lost weight before.” I know how to diet. I’ve done low-carb, high-protein, calorie counting, all of it. The weight would come off. Sometimes a lot of it. And then, reliably, it would come back — plus a little interest.

That cycle messes with your head in ways that are hard to explain to someone who hasn’t lived it. Every time you regain weight you tried so hard to lose, there’s a voice in the back of your mind that starts to wonder if you’re just fundamentally broken. If this is just who you are.

I’d considered bariatric surgery before, briefly. And then I’d talked myself out of it with the same fear every time: what if I just gain it all back? Surgery felt permanent. Failure after something permanent felt unthinkable.

So I kept doing what I’d always done. And I kept getting the same results.

The number that changed everything

I got a coronary artery calcium score test earlier this year. It’s a quick CT scan that measures the buildup of calcium in your heart’s arteries — basically an early warning system for heart disease. I went in without much anxiety. I came out with a score that my doctor described as “significantly elevated.” Combined with blood pressure that had been creeping up for years, it painted a picture I couldn’t ignore.

My wife had been worried about my heart for a while. I’d been good at reassuring her — and maybe better at reassuring myself — that I was fine. That test made it harder to keep doing that.

At some point “I’ll deal with it eventually” stops being a plan and starts being a gamble.

I’m in my mid-fifties. I’m not old, but I’m not young. And I sat with that calcium score for a few days and thought about the math. Every year at this weight, with this blood pressure and this heart health trajectory, I’m borrowing against a future I’m assuming I’ll have. That assumption was starting to feel shaky.

Why SADI-S, and why now

When I finally made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon, I expected to be steered toward the gastric sleeve — it’s the most common procedure right now. But after looking at my health profile, my surgeon recommended SADI-S, which stands for Single Anastomosis Duodeno-Ileal Bypass with Sleeve Gastrectomy.

It’s a two-part procedure: the stomach is first shaped into a sleeve, and then the small intestine is rerouted to reduce absorption. It’s more involved than a sleeve alone, but it’s also shown stronger and more durable weight loss results — which matters a lot to someone with my history of regain.

The research on SADI-S for people with higher starting weights and metabolic issues was exactly what I needed to see. This wasn’t just about getting smaller. This was about changing the underlying biology that had been working against me every time I tried to diet my way out of this.

The thing I’m still afraid of

I’d be lying if I said the fear is completely gone. I’m still a little afraid I’ll be the guy who somehow gains it back even after all this. That fear doesn’t really go away — it just gets outweighed, eventually, by other things.

My wife’s face when she read that calcium score. The fact that I get winded walking across a parking lot. The honest acknowledgment, after years of trying, that willpower alone hasn’t been enough and isn’t going to suddenly become enough.

I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of carrying it around, tired of the limitations, tired of the mental weight of it as much as the physical kind. And I’m scared enough of my heart health trajectory to finally do something that feels permanent.

Maybe that’s what it takes. Not courage exactly. Just finally being more afraid of staying the same than of changing.

What this blog is

I’m a database person by trade, which means I like documentation, patterns, and honest data. That’s what I’m going to try to bring to this. Real numbers, real experiences, real product reviews of things I actually buy and try. No sponsored positivity. No before photos until there’s an after worth showing.

If you’re considering this surgery, going through it, or just curious what it looks like from the inside — stick around. I’ll be writing as I go, starting now, and I won’t be cleaning up the messy parts.

Tiny bites. One at a time.